By now, your teenager has sat through more than two weeks of GCSEs and, when they go back to school on Monday, half term depending on the subjects they've studied, may still have more than two weeks of exams to get through.
They are likely to be tired and stressed or becoming despondent and appearing nonchalant.
Some children will be taking it all in their stride, and that's fantastic, but it is still worth checking in with them.
This exam period can be really difficult for parents as your previously independent teens, capable of sorting themselves out for school, managing their own social calendars and maybe even holding down a Saturday job, can suddenly seem combative, avoidant or uncooperative. They may be uncharacteristically tearful, complaining of sickness or unusually quiet.
It's hard to overstate the pressure they are feeling at this point as many of the things designed to help them, like extra revision and study sessions at school, revision timetables and predicted exam content can be adding pressure rather than alleviating it.
When it comes down to it, these exams are designed to assess 5 years' worth of learning. At this point in the year, our job is to support them while they show what they can do, not push them to acquire more and more knowledge in as short a time as possible. It can be frustrating at this point in their exams as we can expect them to have got used to the routine by now, but that diminishes the fact that each of these exams has its own set of requirements, skills and knowledge needed to do as well as they'd like to. The goal posts are constantly shifting so we have to provide the stability that they need. Here are a few tips on things that can be done to help young people do their best through this last big push.
Hold Out Your Hand: Offer to help, gently, everyday. "Are you ok?", "Is there anything I can do?" "Do you need anything?" are much more helpful questions than "What exam have you got next?or "Shouldn't you be revising?"
No matter how much we'd like to, we can't take the exams for them but we can hold out our hands in support until they want to take it. They may always say they're fine and that they don't need anything, but by offering everyday we can make it much easier for them to accept help. It is easier to say, "Yes please," than to pluck up the courage to ask someone for help.
Let Them Eat Cake: And broccoli. Making sure there are easy to access snacks and trying to offer meals together as often as possible will help provide focus and opportunities to catch up.
Sweet Dreams: Good sleep hygiene is always important for teenagers but especially so during exams. If necessary, turn off your wifi at a sensible time, and please don't let them revise all night. The point comes where an extra hour of sleep will do them more good than an extra hour of revision.
Talk to School: If there is any reason at all that your child hasn't got the equipment they need, or has to leave for an exam before they've had breakfast, please, please let their school know. They won't need to know why, but they will be able to help. I have spent many years stocking up on black pens, bananas and cereal bars during May and June,and I know most of the other teachers I have worked with do the same. If you don't think your child will ask for help themselves, please drop an email to their tutor, the teacher of the subject they're being examined on that day, or the school office. There will be no problem they haven't encountered before.
I wish you and your teenagers a positive month ahead and, as always, good mental health.
Laura Stevenson is a fully qualified English teacher and former Director of Inclusivity and Wellbeing in a UK secondary school. Laura now runs expertenglishtuition.com which provides GCSE English tuition for children from years 9 to year 11.
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